To test out my tablet, I did two memes from deviantART. ♥

Nyu's Art Meme
25 Expressions Meme

HURRRR I WANT TO DO MOOOAARRRRRR. BUT IT'S SO TIME-CONSUMING. orz

Tomorrow needs to comeee~ *crosses fingers*

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I have nothing better to be doing since my stupidsister decided to spend the night at her ever-so stupidboyfriend's dad's (??) house without telling any of us. Go figure, right?

She told my mom to tell us to NOT open any presents until she gets here.

That was about 2 to 3 hours ago.

His dad and him live about 30 minutes away from our house.

I don't fucking understand.

These are updates from my twitter account. If you'd like some actual blog entries, add my on Myspace! My screenname is EGGVIP!

16:51 Oh whoa I've spent a huge percentage of this day, asleep! #

18:55 It's only 7pm? Blah #

19:36 @wmeg Cookies! #

20:06 @wmeg I hid under your porch because I love you! #

21:25 My little cousin called and we had a good talk :) #

21:33 @wmeg payback for the African-Amuffinkins? #

23:03 My buddy @wmeg brought mom and I homemade cookies. :) #

00:36 Merry Christmas. Go hug your family for those of us that have none. #

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.............

What.

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate Crimmus on the 24th....that'ssoweird!!

It's Christmas Eve here~ ♥ We're going to have dinner soon~ alkgjalkdnglk I can't wait. Although I have no idea where my sister is. D: Maybe still working. SHE BETTER COME HOME SOON. D: D: D:

I was going to continue my night by watching any movies from that 8 Films to Die For series buuuut I can't find any. So I might as well look for Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies. \8D/ I DO LOVE THEM MOVIESSS Y'ALL.

SOOOOOOOO~ I haven't resized all of those pictures but I feel so lazyyy that I don't want to~ D: D: D:

...Damn... I need to get a 2010 calender or I'll be so disorganized...

( Mythology meme from akagi~ )

Ugh I'm sick and its raining.

Merry Christmas Eve.

Also my thumbs are calloused from doing all internet things from my phone.

Ouch

These are updates from my twitter account. If you'd like some actual blog entries, add my on Myspace! My screenname is EGGVIP!

09:25 Ugh, mom's fake-cheery and on the verge of tears. Somebody tranq us, please. #

09:33 My classmates bite! Instead of doing fundraisers, they wanna pay 4 museum trips. #

09:34 Therefore: I cant go. Boooooooo. #

10:33 I stopped scrubbing inside my house & went -under- it. Dead cat. :( #

15:50 @blasphemina lol @ apple sentiments #

20:23 Blaaaaaargh my arms hurt!!! #

20:25 RT @catjokes: @ash_020 What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew. #

21:22 @Karma_Sutra Ever been to Flea Market Montgomery? #

22:36 @bighess hehe you said "licking it really hard" #

22:37 Hi Twitter! I am pervy and immature. How are you, tonight? #

22:37 @bighesse hehe you said "licking it really hard" #

22:47 @wmeg you SHOULD be gettin loco wit da cake. #

23:01 @Karma_Sutra Dont forget to youtube search 4 "flea market montgomery" its funny! #

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I'm on break? I've been sort-of out of the livejournaling lately, I don't know. Thus far it's been good? I'm allowing myself to basically just sleep, be social and watch House (more on this below) and Arrested Development (not impressed by the first three episodes. I hear tell it gets better though.). Mostly House because I officially have a problem. But anyways, I have things to do and I need to do them (AMHERST APP! JGKRNLGKRDNG!!), but I'm allowing myself a House-tastic break before Christmas. 

Given that Blockbuster only had up to season 4 (SO GOOD. I like Thirteen. I hear she gets awful in Season 5, but the actress's inability to act doesn't bother me? Actually, I think she can act just fine? (EDIT: Okay, so, I watched a Thirteen music video (bad decision, see below), and it turns out that I have no idea what she's emoting without context. So maybe she is an awful actress. I still don't care) This is possibly because the character's name is Thirteen and Cuddy has been backgrounded, so I need a favorite character and her name is ... Thirteen. And I tend to forgive the unforgivable in fictional characters I like, or reality TV people, anyone remember Daniel of Project Runway Season 5 fame? I've got awful judgement.), I've taken to browsing the internet for House. I can find the following, and only the following:

1. Season 6 episodes. Thanks Hulu, I'm sure I'll appreciate this once I have my hands on Season 5.
2. Music videos. I've started about 10, like I said, problem, but I last about 3 seconds and then I'm just like...ew. I've liked one Huddy one. But I already liked the song and it actually fit well, so I think this was a complete exception and I need to give up on it.
3. The scene where Thirteen involves herself in lesbianesque hooking up in Lucky Thirteen. Which has a ridiculously catchy song, which is perpetually stuck in my head and I keep putting on the video to listen to it because I can't find it ANYWHERE else. I need iTunes money.
4. The scene where Cuddy strips for House. ...I can't think of anything to put here. I watched it once. When I watched the episode.

yeah, so, thanks internet? I clearly have a strong desire to watch all of these things...I'm going to go watch the season 4 finale again, even though it is 1:30am. Happy Christmas!!

I still hate Christmas and wish there was some way to ignore it.

But

I've finally gotten two things I've wanted for almost a year.

*My friend back
*A (kinda sorta) job

Both, I got by swallowing my pride.

The job: weekly chores for an old lady. Today I go to her house to polish silver.

She only pays me a little (since I only tend to get one measley assignment whenever I go). BUT it's more money than I usually have and I feel more like my life has purpose.

I'm definitely NOT a suicide risk, but being jobless is the one thing that makes me question my existance.

I basically begged her to hire me. Yes -I- begged.

The past three years have humbled me.

I eeeeeven put up w a crap crush for almost three months earlier in the year. The well-built gaming dork w/ the faux-meanstreak. He was a great friend but a terrrrrrible love-interest. Boooooooo.

Also... My stomach is still killing me. I'm -this- close to being worried about it. It's been three days.

At this point it may just be hunger. I've only nibbled random things because the thought of eating w/ a stomach ache makes me wanna hurl.

Oh, and if anybody's worried about my sudden reconciliations w random people... I havent seen my life flash before my eyes or anything.

I just realized that I used to be so much happier in the past. A huuuuge part of that happiness was being able to talk to people that inspired me. I've felt, for a while, that I had no soul.

The soul I used to have came from the bright and colorful people in my life.

Lady Gaga can only do so much for me. I need pre-Gaga fuel, again.

OR maybe my life subconciously flashed before my eyes. I checked on my life insurance and funeral arrangements the other day, at random. (I know my mom is ridiculous, so I planned my own funeral and have my insurance set up to pay for it, immediately after I die. It was also really cheap because I'm young and they don't know I'm a heart patient. Insurance company knows, of course. Booooy do they ever.)

I also organized all my belongings and got rid of some letters I wouldnt want anyone to find upon my passing.

I guess Christmas being the anniversary of my Dad's death just makes me antsy. It never really did before I got sick, but now I can barely make it through the week without stressing.

I would -hate- to die of a heart-attack, like my dad. I would -hate- to die near Christmas time.

I don't think my mom could handle either one.

I know you guys think I worry about her too much, but she's all I got and I'm all she's got. Especially now that I have -none- of my Dad's family in New Orleans, anymore.

I'm really thinking I shouldn't be alone on Christmas this year. Mom and I should just pop up at somebody's house.

"Heeeey giiiirl! Oooh your house is crooowdeeed. We'll just squeeze in, over here!"

These are updates from my twitter account. If you'd like some actual blog entries, add my on Myspace! My screenname is EGGVIP!

09:17 43things sent a message that I sent myself 2 yrs ago. ive reached none of my goals. #

10:23 After 2 yrs of not buying any Xmas gifts, I still get gifts. ;_; ilugaiz. #

11:41 I cant do anything from my phone but facebook blogging n twitter. Booo #

11:41 Got a lot of my homework done, tho. #

11:42 RT Magnulus: Naked Legolas! Please keep sharing and rating it! bit.ly/8WcIMj #

11:54 @happykiss community.livejournal.com/sayclubsandmore/443075.html #

11:55 @happykiss i'm LJing from my phone and found those Korean things 4 u #

12:06 @Magnulus well don't say it -again- !!!! #

12:09 Heeeeey are buses not running, this week? #

12:10 @Magnulus I've forgotten the original story! #

12:13 @Magnulus how did she get out of it? Kill the queen? #

12:14 @Magnulus seeeeeeeeeeee #

12:24 I should be taking notes on what I'm reading for class. I'll forget if I don't. #

12:27 wish ppl stop txt me abt Brit Murphy. Scares hell outta meeee #

12:55 @sugarvenom Hahahaha! I wanna retweet that #

13:05 RT xiahtic: i am way too amused. RT: @allkpop: Brown Eyed Girls flash mobbing Abracadabra? bit.ly/6Qey6I #

13:06 Won't load on my phone, but sounds like something amaaaazing @xiahtic #

14:10 This whole... Stay in the house all week idea is driving me nuts. #

15:28 Finished more of my reading and wrote 5 essay outlines. More reading! #

16:45 There are some ppl u tlk 2 on the phone 4 5 mins and your whole life improves. #

17:10 @silvershinigami I love that book! #

18:30 Wtf house on fire down the street from me. This is Earth's most flammable neighborhood. #

19:10 Told someone about your highschool window antics @awayhere #

19:13 Fire trucks are gone. Whole neighborhood is in the middle of the street. #

19:26 My house smells like smoke and its making my head hurt :( #

20:00 My arm is killing me from drawing all day. #

20:03 And the lights just went out on my street. This night sucks. #

21:47 @hiroman or cuz I suck so bad its painful 8D #

22:34 I think I just heard a cancer joke in a rap song. :( #

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Late last night, Megan and Lydia visited me.

Everyone's delivering gifts early because all of them will have busy, family-filled holidays.

I cried like a baby, btw.

I havent given anyone a birthday or Xmas gift in two years. Long-distance friends might feel the loss, but local people see what my life has become.

So, knowing full-well they are getting nothing in return, they gave me lovely gifts.

They even -visited- me to do so because I don't have car insurance, right now, and refuse to drive w/o it.

I have my regrets when it comes to life in general. I sometimes feel like I'll never die happy. The only possibility of that happening would have been if someone had shot 20yr old me.

But then my friends let me know that I'm important to them. My mother calms down long enough to lucidly let me know she appreciates how hard I work to keep us alive. My little cousin tells me he feels lost in our family but knows that I love him and he loves me... No matter how many people treat us like shit.

And I remember that love does exist and that I value love in my life more than living comfortably.

I value the love of the living in a way that outweighs my mourning for the deceased.

I can do this.

I can keep struggling toward goals.

I can mope on Christmas but be back to normal for New Years Day.

I can make it!

These are updates from my twitter account. If you'd like some actual blog entries, add my on Myspace! My screenname is EGGVIP!

09:03 I finally fell asleep @ 5am have been woken up by mom every hour since :( #

09:06 RT @iammase: MA$E Daily Word#75: As you grow up it becomes less important to pay attention to what others ar #

09:06 RT @iammase: MA$E Daily Word#75: As you grow up it becomes less important to pay attention to what others are doing. #

09:35 Spoil yourself this holiday season! www.etsy.com/shop/blasphemina #etsy #

10:07 What's up with all the local murders and suicides, this month? It's sad :( #

10:10 Waiting to have a phone interview. Hope I get it! I really love retail #

10:56 Still waiting! Ahhhhhhh torture!!!! #

11:14 Bleh. Good interview but they're concerned that I don't have an open schedule. Same BS everytime. #

14:15 Is pretty sure this strange taste is mildew. *noms awaaaaay* #

14:37 Yup, it had gone bad. Oh well. My tummy is IRON! #

14:44 @awayhere Boooooooooooo #

15:06 Headache and nausea. Boooooo #

15:49 @_darkening I dont have energy, either. *deflate* #

16:27 Hope the puppy feels better soon @wmeg #

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I decided to not wait to do this because me + waiting = no. I won't get it done, basically.

SO.

Poll #1501979 Crimmus
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 7

What do you prefer from me?

I honestly think doodles would be much easier. And besides, I get to try out my new tablet when I get it. So we'd both win. :D ♥ So if you vote for the second one: eyeelyuu ♥

Annnnnd: ne_zhaley, you can ask for one too even though I has jor shhhtuff. ♥

STILL CHEERFUL HERE. But I'm...really getting tired... *thud*

THEY MAKE ME FEEL GREAT. I get all generous and shit (deep down inside - or not very deep at all - I'm too generous AND NOT ONLY ON HOLIDAYS. I want to give to everyooone~ *fagfagfag* SO GET PASSED MY HORRIBLENESS AND LOOK INTO MY FAGALICIOUSLY GENEROUS HEART. DOITNOW. WOW THIS IS A LOT OF TEXT IN PARENTHESIS. I SHOULD PROBABLY STOP NOW.) and try to give out gifts. I always have this mental list and prioritize gift-giving (YOU DO IT TOO, DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK!) then I try my beeest to get everyone else cards and stuff. SO THAT'S HOW I WORK AROUND THIS TIME OF YEAR BECAUSE 1) I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON MY HAND DURING THIS TIME OF YEAR BECAUSE CLASSES GIVE OUT MUCHO WORK-O AND 2) I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS.

That's the jist of it, really.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, I'VE BEEN SO GODDAMN BUSY THAT I COULDN'T MAKE ANYONE A CARD. SO, YOU GUYS WILL BE GETTING THEM PRETTY DAMN LATE FROM ME. D: SORRY. OR! I might do something else, rather than giving out cards... Maybe something more internet related, if that's ok.

I have more to say about the matter, but I digressss from it. I'll make a poll. Pole. Poll. Yes, a poll.... Before my paid account...e-e-expires. "OTL

I'm in a horribly good mood. I think it's because I'm going to school Tuesday and Wednesday then SHA-POW WINTER BREAK. I DIG IT. I have a ton of pictures to resize and post so expect a way too large photo post from meee~ ♥♥♥♥

I'm still waiting for the hours of the day to expand to 25 hours, at least. 8| DO IT MOTHER NATURE. DO. IT. NOW.

Note to self: stop being so goddamn cheerful. Your pessimistic side doesn't like it. 8|

Also: It's going to give the shitty dub ver of Yami no Metsuei. OHJOY.

I FORGOT TO INDENT EVERY PARAGRAPH ON MY ESSAY FOR NEW PALTZ. AND I PUT "LWEAVING" INSTEAD OF "LEAVING" OHMYFUCKINGGOD FMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

I CAN KISS NP GOODBYE. BYEEE NP~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's always hope for Queens. :| I wonder if it's too late to apply to Suffolk...

How the fuck do you send the essay to Queens? Do they even require one!? jngadkjgnakjdh wtf is this shiiiit DX

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, THERE ISN'T ANY SCHOOL TODAY. THAT GIVES ME MORE TIME TO GET MY WORK DONE. AND GIFTS. AND THIS COLLEGE SHIT. AND MORE READING. I can't believe I have to read 3 books...all from my APE teacher...but the third book is for Literary Club.

pleasekillmethisisridiculous.

EDITMUTHAFUCKA:
An essay is not required for CUNY general freshman admission; however, an essay may be required for admission to selective and honors programs such as Macaulay Honors College, Sophie Davis School of Biomedical Education, the BA-MD Program at Brooklyn College, and the CUNY Baccalaureate for Unique and Interdisciplinary Studies.
YES MUTHAFUCKARRRR YUSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure all of you know, by now, that my Dad died on Christmas when I was 5 years old.

Needless to say, I've not had a traditional Christmas since I was 4.

This year is no different.
...Unless you count the fact that 2007, 2008, and 2009 have been more difficult (year-round) and mom has started mourning earlier in the holiday season.

Last night we were talking and suddenly she started going on about my Dad, which resulted in both of us crying.

I used to only hit this funk on the 24th and it would last a few days after.


Sorry if this entry looks funny. I'm typing it on my phone.

These are updates from my twitter account. If you'd like some actual blog entries, add my on Myspace! My screenname is EGGVIP!

12:01 Are there beds in restuarant city, now? I havent played it in a while but saw a pic. #

13:31 Anybody know where a car-scrapping place is around here? #

13:31 Or at least what car-scrapping places are called so I can look 'em up? #

13:38 I hate Sundays. They're so useless when you have shit to do. #

14:21 It finally warmed up a bit and I got my lawn taken care of! #

17:43 @wmeg i luv chipmunks movies. Seem like we r i 2 i 4 once. #

18:27 I wanna play socceeeeeeeer *bored whine* #

22:27 @Hiroman ME TOO ;-; #

23:17 I know i've only genuinely tried for 10 mins... But I cant sleep. #

00:44 I feel so disconnected from the rest of the world without a computer :( #

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These are updates from my twitter account. If you'd like some actual blog entries, add my on Myspace! My screenname is EGGVIP!

09:32 Good morning! Today is the big day! Wedding time!!! #

10:03 Got to kick a soccer ball for ten mins. My day has improved, drastically! #

06:29 Good morning! Why is it so coooooold! I wanted to mow the lawn #

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Mmmm... I haven't even thought about what I wanted for Xmas this year, but rather I thought about what I needed. And really, I realized I don't really NEED anything. But, I'm just gonna do this just for the sake of wasting time because I'm bored. (These are in no particular order)

1.  Vans Shoes. I told myself I didn't need any more shoes... but I've been eyeing vans for quite a while now...

2. Road Bike - probably not an expensive one like the one shown here, but just one that's perfect for getting me to and from campus. It'll help me stay in shape. Hahah


3. DSLR. Not even gonna post up a picture of it this year because I put it up last year.

4. A car. This doesn't need a picture either. Yeah, I finally got my license! But no car to drive, so whoo :(

5. Shirts/Hoodies/Sweaters with this color.

6. Frog Style Stuff - YES I still want it.


And the rest.... I can't think of anything. See? I don't even really want anything this year. Hmmmm. I'll add another post if I think of anything.